Mwmn Dating post
Money Matters with Nimi

Thank you for all your messages. This subject has garnered so much interest as it is such a serious issue.

Dating someone is very different from being engaged or married but it is an important step. Many people tell me they don’t know how to even broach the subject with a boyfriend/girlfriend, let alone consider topics to discuss. Here are some tips.

Not too early

Please don’t talk about money on the 1st or 2nd date! You will seem like a gold digger. One of you might think it’s all right to bring up specifics and data just a month into the relationship; to the other that’s a warning sign to run for your life….and money!

Look out for tell tale signs

Without talking specifically about money, you can tell a lot about a persons money personality, by their values, conversation, lifestyle; this is often shaped by childhood experiences and role models, usually parents.

Is your significant other living way above their means? Does she earn N180,000 a month but can only travel business class and carry N500,000 handbags? Does he have a flash car, but lives in a hovel or somewhere you would rather not visit? In fact he says you can’t visit.

Speak generally about aspirations

At a certain point in a relationship, it seems clear that it may be going somewhere. Start with light discussions; particular restaurant for dinner – isn’t it too expensive, is it below standard, who pays, do you split the bill etc. Chatter will naturally broaden to more fundamental things including aspirations and ambition.

No two people are going to agree about everything; some people are savers, others spenders, some risk averse, others gamblers; If you disagree about some money issue, try to find a compromise. If you both refuse to listen and dig in, rifts begin. The more you talk, the more you learn.

If there are fundamental differences in your financial approaches, it may be worth having a rethink.

Better now, than later.

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