“I listened to you on radio where you were trying to discourage young girls like myself from dating just for money.
I am a 20-year old 300 level student in a Nigerian University. I have a Mr Moneybags as my boyfriend.
He is married.
I earn up to N65,000 a month from side hustle. Since we started a relationship, he has moved me out of the room and parlour I stay with my family. He is about to finish paying for the building of the bungalow they are building as they have no money to finish it. It has been there like that for five years.
He is sponsoring my 2 junior ones to school. He is also paying my school fees, transport and upkeep and gives me an allowance of N200,000 a month.
Why will I break up with him?
He is kind.
He is helpful.
I am not planning to marry him but I do not think I am doing wrong.
I hope you will reply.”
How would you advise your sister?
Bea has permitted me to share the letter anonymously and will read your comments.
#sugardaddy #loveandmoney #mrmoneybags #gifts #girls #itsbusiness #hepaysmybills #mmwithnimi
#valentine #valentinesday #fortheloveofmoney
It’s a poverty mindset and lack of values like integrity, love, hard work etc that should form a child’s life from good parenting first, before the child is exposed to the society. The structures of society too should tailor their values to help the youth to cultivate healthy values. Government, religious organizations, schools etc. let’s all be role models and watch out for girls and boys around us. The married man too is even worse because he who should look out for her in a healthy way is her abuser. There is so much to do and sinful nature is at the root of it all.
What goes around, comes around. What is wrong, is wrong. Don’t matter how you want to paint it or what excuse you use for it. It’s wrong- full stop! Yeah, it might be paying fees and building houses but It’s fornication, adultery, deceit and plain ol’ prostitution. You are 20 now and feel the world is yours to run as you please but someday, you too will sit in his wife’s shoes and watch another 18year old ask the same questions you are asking now……Be wise!
In matters of survival, moral judgements are but smoke …. Mr.Money bags is functional, so if she is trying to cut ties she needs to find an economic replacement to the function he fulfils. So let’s say she starts a business . Is there a business she can do just as easily that will provide similar returns. Else as humans we typically fall back to the familiar path of least resistance. So the question I’ll throw to everyone is .. what business ideas can she implement ?
REGRETTABLY This is the REALITY we LIVE in Today in NIGERIA. Our Issues run very deep…. Please let’s not point fingers at this young Lady, as she’s simply reflecting the failure of parenting, our society, leaders, the church, religious institutions and our government. Many Nigerian Youth Live like this in one way or the other, our politicians and leaders likewise, our so called role models compromise daily. The Life today’s youth Live was LEARNT…. The BIG Question is who did they learn it from? We now live in a “failed state” called Nigeria. We need to go back to the basics and teach VALUES and Change our IDEOLOGIES, BELIEFS, PERCEPTIONS. WE the Perceived Elites and Leaders including the CHURCH, MUST stop celebrating, encouraging and Reinforcing this LIFESTYLE of Opulence without hard work; Riches without Morals; Success without Principles…Look at this young lady what are Her VALUES and IDEOLOGY? Painfully they are both Aligned with her ACTIONS. She CANNOT see what is wrong with what she’s doing.
@mmwithnimi You would see it as wrong because your own personal VALUES and IDEOLOGY do not Align With her own course of ACTION same as @cauldrong@and guess what you’re right. So as @moyeenmusic has pointed out we have to RE-SCHOOL her in lessons of VALUES, IDEOLOGY and Life. Then and ONLY then can she see what we are saying…. anything outside of this will fail. Remember that her parents are in on this also they have indirectly told her this is ok as the Moneybag is also building and completing their Bungalow and sending her younger siblings to school, giving her N200k monthly which will trickle down to them also. Her parents have failed according to our own judgement right? PART 1
But their children are getting educated and they have a decent life…. do you know what it’s like to live like them?? Hmmmm…. TRUTH is different from what is true. Everyone knows what TRUTH is but everyone’s reality is what’s true for them. We should Always strive for the highest IDEAL which is TRUTH for it is ONLY TRUTH that sets us FREE and gives us LIFE without Recourse.. Lastly “Cause and Effect” or “Karma” Rules the Universe. Whatsoever we sow we will all reap. This is TRUTH. Let’s reach out to the young girl, her parents and her Moneybag and RESCHOOL them about VALUES, BELIEFS and IDEOLOGIES. Beyond them we have a lot of work to do with Nigerian Youth at large because she’s a mirror of the entirety of our society. Let’s ALL go to work in our various spheres of influence and “BE THE CHANGE WE SEEK” PART 2
But she earns 65K/month – i really do appreciate your view but she has put herself on a rather high pedestal at 20 which im not sure a side hustle can automatically help for now. 1. Aside the 65K she earns 200k allowance 2. Lets put transport and upkeep to 200k. 3. All 3 school fees 200k 4. Family house project 200k. So from Mr Moneybag she gets 800K/mnth wat decent business does she want to do that would immediately return that?
@lanreOlusola thank you. You are spot on as usual. We always blame the individual without understanding where the person is coming from. We tend to judge without knowing what we will do in their shoes. Everyday I am thankful for the life, family, friends, upbringing etc I had and have. Plus we forget to ask the question: what example are we and the society setting for the young people and also the have nots of society? Us in our flashy cars, clothes, jewelry etc. They see these things and don’t bother to ask how hard we worked to afford it and we don’t through our actions show them how hard diligently honestly etc we worked for afford the luxuries we enjoy. The young girl isn’t the problem, her parents aren’t necessarily the problem. Society and us who lead are the real problem because like you said what are we teaching the have nots etc of Society? @mmwithnimi we need to band together and come up with a plan that aims and changing the mindsets of the have nots. And if we want to have them hear us (not listen hear) we need to know what we are telling them is a viable better option. Something that can actually make an immediate to short term difference to their lives because they need these before the long term solutions. They need to survive today and every day after that before they can think about the future. need to survive today and every day after that before they can think about the future.
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